[Diary]#2 Memory

The diary series contain no specific topic, but for English writing practice and sharing thoughts.

Though all the memories cannot be replaced, to fully embrace life and emotions, I’d like to give myself a chance to recall and open up those sorrow and tears again. But this time, I’m an adult, who is gently loved by someone and loving people, economically independent, has strengths and weaknesses, which is the same as all human beings.

Hopefully, anyone shares the similar memory would be eased a bit. Realize we’re capable of recovering as we look them in their faces and move on.

“What were the things making you feel uncomfortable?”

“The noisy sounds at midnight… fights, yells, police’s coming, people using drugs, and domestic violence”

“As a kid, that must be a hard time for you.”

“I love life, buy my heart had been tired for years. I wanted to change, but I didn’t know how(not to mention telling my teachers at school)… A family is not supposed to be lived like that. An ideal relationship should not be as complicated as we experienced.”

“But when I compare myself to those who live their lives normally(?) or worse than me, I don’t know whether I should complain or not. I was so confused about the upset feeling.”

“How do you know that they are normal? How do you know that they have recovered?”

“I’m not sure… they just seemed fine.”

“There are a bunch of people telling me that they’ve been bothering by their negative experiences for years. Even at their late 40s or 50s, they are all recovering, but they just don’t tell.”

“Would you like to try being more gentle to yourself?”

“What is the difference between gentle and lazy though? I’m quite flexible to plans recently.”

“Gentleness is that — we know that we are having issues, but we choose to accept them, don’t rush to solve them in a short time. We are able to carry these issues and live on while observing the possible solutions or experimenting new methods.”

“Ok… I’ll try.”

“The most important thing is that I’m here with you. We can discuss your practice and thoughts next time.”

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